One technique to help you understand your child's behaviour

There are many different possible contributing factors to a child's behavior. These include lifestyle, nutrition, recreation, sunlight, sleep, hydration, electro-magnetic frequencies, stress, medications, inherited pre-dispositions, individual constitution, family dynamics, and more.

The technique I share today applies to those behaviors which are related to the little spoken of or understood area of family dynamics. When applied within this jurisdiction, it not only provides a means to understanding a negative and generally chronic aspect (you name it) of your child's behavior but it can also provide a clear direction about what you can do to improve the behavior. If you implement this idea correctly and with sincere intentions, your life and that of your child's may change dramatically for the better. Certainly, mine has!

Here's what to do:

Select a button-pressing annoying chronic behavior which you think may not be related to lifestyle or medications at the very least. (Recall that this technique only applies in the jurisdiction of family dynamics, which means that it has something to do with family dynamics. One clue to when this is the case is when a behavior is particularly annoying to you whereas others are not as affected by it.)

Pretend you are talking to a close friend. Write out how you would describe the behavior to them. And now reverse the pronouns. Here's a recent example from my personal experience: “My son has taken to wailing on the sofa claiming how hungry he is. He is soooo hungry that he can't get off the sofa to feed himself. And asking me why on earth was I not feeding him?” This was a hair-pulling situation for me. My son was perfectly capable of accessing the kitchen and preparing himself a meal. After a couple of repetitions of the sofa scene, I finally completely stopped what I was doing, I breathed deeply, and observed my son, with gratitude and inquiry. I wrote out his behavior, as above. Then I reversed the pronouns. And I re-read what I'd written: I had taken to wailing on the sofa claiming how hungry I was. I was soooo hungry that I couldn't get off the sofa to feed myself. And why wasn't my son feeling me?” It may not seem like much when read literally. The trick is to read it metaphorically and with introspection. In my case this meant: I'm stagnating frustratingly, claiming I need others to satisfy my needs. I was sooo needy that I couldn't even provide for myself. And why on earth was I not ensuring that my own needs were met? Now that hit home, hard. I went to the cupboard, dusted off an old bachata (Latin dance rhythm) CD, placed it in the machine and started dancing. Dancing has always been a way for me to feed my soul, and I'd given it up. I knew I needed to feed my soul in other ways. But for the time being, dancing was the quickest way to determine if I'd gotten the message. I immediately started to feel better. Actually, I cried. And within minutes my son got up off the sofa and started to dance with me. I took the remaining steps I needed, and there have been no more hair-pulling couch scenes.

There's much more to this strategy of course, but this is likely enough to get you started. Jean Venema http://en.presentchild.com/ has developed an entire program and therapeutic approach around it. But the basics of it are found within Comprehensive Care or Natural Wellness sessions offered at 360 Wellness Clinic. Basically it comes down to being having clarity of mind, being mindful and responsible. It today's day and age, we don't come by such abilities naturally, so a bit of help can go a long way!

Written by Lisa Torres HOM